I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
