the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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