is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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