He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
