Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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