I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
