4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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