I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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