It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
