Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Randomize
