But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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