I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
