I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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