I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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