pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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