y did u give ur computer a hand job?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
