I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
