My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
