I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
