i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
