dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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