Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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