I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
