Sry I called you an 8
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
