just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
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