All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
