He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Randomize
