and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
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