No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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