my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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