he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
we made out on top of his cat.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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