Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
