Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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