Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
