Do vagina's smell?
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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