the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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