I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
