i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
