having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
