super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
