So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
