you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Randomize
