I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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