you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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