man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
