This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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