like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I fill condoms, not promises.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
