umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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