im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
