In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
